Wednesday, August 11, 2010

I'm fallin...

I am glad to say I freed myself today from all regrets and bad memories. I am now going to live my life a happier person because I deserve it. I need to learn that I may not know what is in store for my life down the road but I am going to trust in myself and power higher than me to lead me in the right direction. I'm not going to worry anymore because it helps no one to have a troubled mind. I wrote everything down that had been bothering me, stuff that's been with me pretty much my whole life, and more recent bullshit that's been tugging at my very soul. Then I tore it up and threw it far away. Now, I don't acknowledge these bad aspects of my life. That part of my life is over, and the new part is about to begin. This new life is the life in which I get a job I love, I finish school with flying colors, I enter the peace corps or go teach overseas or do something incredibly awesome with the young years I have left. This may be the life in which I meet and fall in love with someone incredibly special, or maybe not yet, maybe that's years ahead in the future, but I cannot dwell on that aspect. I just have to stay positive and know that everything is going to work out. Everything happens for a reason and I just got to keep my head up and a smile on and warm open arms for people around me. I can't be depressed and sad and lethargic all the time, that's not the way to be. And I can't be a whiner either. I have to make stuff happen for me, and if other things make me sad or down and out, I have to banish them and take them with a grain of salt. Because there is nothing in this world, either person or thing, that is worth tormenting myself over and over again with no release. There is no reason to ever let oneself get to this point. I let it and it almost destroyed me. No more.

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